ARE YOU FEELING ANXIOUS?
Do you want to get into therapy / counseling for anxiety, stress or worry? But then do you think, “First world problems?” It’s ok, everyone deserves therapy. Your need doesn’t have to be bigger than someone else’s need. What you feel is real and it’s ok for you to get therapy to deal with it.
RELIEF FROM TENSION
Are you longing for relief from the tension you feel? My clients often say they feel so relieved after a session. They feel lighter, like they set down a burden they didn’t even realize they were carrying.
COMFORT WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS
Do you hold high expectations of yourself? Do you feel that you are failing sometimes, despite success in a high-performance, demanding role at work? Do you have perfectionist tendencies? Let’s look at what’s behind those expectations so you understand where they come from, which ones you want to meet, and then develop ways to hold high expectations comfortably. Let’s reassure the perfectionist side of you. Let’s get at the root of it all, so you don’t feel driven, and instead feel that you are the driver.
OVERTHINKING TO THINKING THINGS THROUGH
Do you overthink or over prepare? Do you develop a plan to deal with every possible eventuality, just in case a, b, c… goes wrong? Let’s look at where those habits come from and decide what’s valuable about thinking things through and preparing back up plans. Then let’s figure out a way to use that wonderful brain of yours without feeling anxious but feeling confident instead.
RELIEF FROM PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
Anxiety often manifests as muscle tension, a feeling in the pit of your stomach, a tight feeling in your chest, sore shoulders and headaches. There are ways to relieve and even prevent headaches, prevent or soothe those feelings of dread in your stomach and find ways to feel comfortable in your skin. Let’s find the ways that work for you, so you feel better.
WHERE DOES ANXIETY COME FROM?
My guess is that it depends on the person and the life that formed them. It seems to me that anxiety can be inherited, and it can be learned from our families. It can also come from little t or Big T Trauma.
Without meaning to, a caregiver who worries shows a child that the child should worry too. Anxiety can also come from learning to walk on eggshells because a caregiver or someone else scares you, criticizes you, or harms you. If you’re in an anxious state, you naturally stay vigilant and that helps keep you safe. Or if a caregiver pays attention to you inconsistently because of substance use, mental health or other life circumstance, that can lead to anxiety. Imagine not knowing whether your person is going to feed you, change your diaper, put you to sleep or pick you up and hold you when you cry. That would lead to anxiety.
“I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE…”
When you don’t think about it, you don’t realize that being yelled at, bullied or disciplined can have a very negative impact on you. As a child, if you’re abused or sexually assaulted, it’s common for a child to think it’s your fault… Unless you told someone and they helped you deal with it, you might have wondered, “What’s wrong with me?” Or you might have asked yourself, “What did I do wrong?” But most often, kids just forget what happened, even though there’s often a negative thought about yourself deep in your memory.
AND THEN, WHEN YOU’RE AN ADULT…
When you reflect back on the way you grew up, or get into therapy, you might start thinking about your past in a new light and you might wonder, “Whose fault was that, really?” You realize that yes, that really did affect you. You realize that how you are today goes all the way back to your childhood.
YOU CAN WORK THROUGH IT
The good thing is you don’t have to live with that for the rest of your life. You can process it in therapy, rethink what happened, recognize that no, you did *not* cause that; you *are* a good person. You can replace your old thoughts about yourself with new, positive thoughts and move forward feeling free and strong.
LITTLE t AND BIG T TRAUMA
There are also infinite experiences we label as little ‘t’ and big ‘T’ traumas.
LITTLE t TRAUMA
Little ‘t’ traumas include feeling hurt by unkind comments, feeling lonely, left out. Even compliments can lead to little t trauma: you get a compliment, and you wonder what you have to do to get another one. You wonder why you get a compliment sometimes but not other times… The list of little ‘t’ traumas is endless.
BIG T TRAUMA
Big ‘T’ traumas are numerous as well: parental neglect; physical, emotional, psychological or sexual abuse, incest, rape; assault; accidents of all kinds… Then there are the traumas of culture: discrimination, judgment, rejection, immigration trauma… And poverty… Disasters also cause trauma: natural disasters, a factory or plant blowing up, economic disasters, border crossing trauma. Life circumstances can cause trauma as well: death, grief, business loss, failing a class…
SOMEONE TO HOLD YOU
Whether you suffered little ‘t’ trauma or big ‘T’ trauma, if you didn’t have someone to hold you and comfort you and believe in you and help you heal your pain, you were probably affected by the trauma. We can resolve it.
Are you having relationship problems? Anxiety, adverse childhood experiences, little t and big T trauma all have an impact on our ability to connect and have a good relationship.
WORK WITH ME
If you would like to work with me to deal with anxiety, the little t and big T traumas of life or any relationship issues, let’s set up a free 20-minute consult.
FREE 20 MINUTE CONSULTATION
Let’s talk about what’s going on with you, what you’d like to accomplish in therapy and see if we’re a good fit. To set up a video call, use the button below or e-mail me at email@example.com.
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WHAT METHODS WILL WE USE?
You’re you. I will customize your therapy around your preferences and the approach that suits you best. I might use Trauma Reprocessing / Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR); Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction techniques; Inner Child work; guided visualizations; a variety of relationship therapy approaches such as the Psychobiological Approach to Therapy (PACT), Gottman, adult and childhood attachment theories; strengths-based; solution focused methods; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT); Internal Family Systems; or a somatic approach. Your therapy will be designed uniquely for you.
HOW LONG WILL WE WORK TOGETHER?
The length of time we spend in therapy / counseling is up to you. Most people begin to feel better in 4 to 10 weeks. If you are new to therapy / counseling, I like to define a chunk of work we want to complete, plan 12 sessions to get it done, re-evaluate as we go, and at the 10-week mark, start to wrap up or decide if there is more work you would like to do with me. For some issues it will take longer.