ARE YOU FEELING ANXIOUS?
Do you want to get into therapy / counseling, but then think, “first world problems?” It’s ok, there is no pain Olympics. My mission in life is to reduce pain worldwide. What you feel is real and it’s ok to get help to deal with it.
RELIEF FROM TENSION
Are you longing for relief from the tension you feel? My clients often say they feel that relief, they feel lighter, like they set down a burden they didn’t even realize they were carrying.
COMFORT WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS
Do you hold high expectations of yourself or feel you are failing sometimes, despite success in a high-performance, demanding role at work? Do you have perfectionist tendencies? Let’s look at what’s behind those expectations so you understand where they come from, which ones you want to meet, and then develop ways to hold high expectations comfortably. Let’s reassure the perfectionist side of you. Let’s get at the root of it all, so you don’t feel driven, and instead feel you are the driver.
OVERTHINKING TO THINKING THINGS THROUGH
Do you overthink or over prepare? Do you develop a plan to deal with every possible eventuality, just in case a, b, c… goes wrong? Let’s look at where those habits come from and decide what’s valuable about thinking things through and preparing back up plans. Then let’s figure out a way to use that wonderful brain of yours without feeling anxious but feeling confident instead.
RELIEF FROM PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
Anxiety often manifests as muscle tension, a feeling in the pit of your stomach, a tight feeling in your chest, sore shoulders and headaches. There are ways to relieve and even prevent headaches, prevent or soothe those feelings of dread in your stomach and find ways to feel comfortable in your skin. Let’s find the ways that work for you, so you feel better.
WHERE DOES ANXIETY COME FROM?
My guess is that it depends on the person and the life that formed them. It seems to me that anxiety can be inherited, and it can be learned from our families. It can also come from little t or Big T Trauma.
A caregiver who worries teaches a child to worry. Anxiety can also come from learning to walk on eggshells because a caregiver or someone else scares you, criticizes you, or harms you. If you’re in an anxious state, you naturally stay vigilant and that helps keep you safe. Or if a caregiver pays attention to you inconsistently because of substance use, mental health or other life circumstance, that can lead to anxiety. Imagine not knowing whether your person is going to feed you, change your diaper, put you to sleep or pick you up and hold you when you cry. That would lead to anxiety.
LITTLE t TRAUMA
We live through infinite little ‘t’ and big ‘T’ traumas. Little ‘t’ traumas include feeling hurt by unkind comments, feeling lonely, left out. Even compliments can lead to little t trauma: you get a compliment, and you wonder what you have to do to get another one. You wonder why you get a compliment sometimes but not other times… The list of little ‘t’ traumas is endless.
BIG T TRAUMA
Big ‘T’ traumas are numerous as well: parental neglect; physical, emotional, psychological or sexual abuse, incest, rape; assault; accidents of all kinds… Then there are the traumas of culture: discrimination, judgment, rejection, immigration trauma… And poverty… Disasters also cause trauma: natural disasters, a factory or plant blowing up, economic disasters, border crossing trauma. Life circumstances can cause trauma as well: death, grief, business loss, failing a class…
SOMEONE TO HOLD YOU
Whether you suffered little ‘t’ trauma or big ‘T’ trauma, if you didn’t have someone to hold you and comfort you and believe in you and help you heal your pain, you were probably affected by the trauma. We can resolve it.
Are you having relationship problems? Anxiety, adverse childhood experiences, little t and big T trauma all have an impact on our ability to connect and have a good relationship.
If you would like to work with me to deal with anxiety, the little t and big T traumas of life or any relationship issues, let’s set up a free 20-minute consult.
Let’s talk about what’s going on with you, what you’d like to accomplish in therapy and see if we’re a good fit. To set up a video call, use the button below or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You’re you. I will customize your therapy around your preferences and the approach that suits you best. I might use Trauma Reprocessing / Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR); Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction techniques; Inner Child work; guided visualizations; a variety of relationship therapy approaches such as the Psychobiological Approach to Therapy (PACT), Gottman, adult and childhood attachment theories; strengths-based; solution focused methods; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT); Internal Family Systems; or a somatic approach. Your therapy will be designed uniquely for you.
The length of time we spend in therapy / counseling is up to you. Most people begin to feel better in 4 to 10 weeks. If you are new to therapy / counseling, I like to define a chunk of work we want to complete, plan 12 sessions to get it done, re-evaluate as we go, and at the 10-week mark, start to wrap up or decide if there is more work you would like to do with me. For some issues it will take longer.