Trauma and the People We Choose

People are like puzzle pieces. They fit together in intriguing ways. I was talking with a lady with a history of domestic violence about her new boyfriend. She told me he had a past. I like to talk with my hands, so I made a fist with my right hand and a C with my left hand and gently, I showed how the fist fit into the C. The allusion to domestic violence was intentional. I was trying to make the point that it is hard to make good choices until you have healed from the trauma in your past.  Unfortunately there’s a thing called trauma reenactment: People choose other people to repeat their past trauma and drama. We do this until we’ve healed enough to make better choices. With a new gesture, I put my palms gently together to show how two people can come to a relationship whole and healed. One way to resolve trauma is through EMDR reprocessing therapy.  There are other forms of healing trauma as well. If you heal, it will help you make new choices and take good care of yourself.
Who knew? Puzzle piece parts have names, such as tab for the “outie” part of a puzzle piece and blank, for the “innie” part of a puzzle piece. Tabs and blanks interlock.

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